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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the pigeon drama, when I bump into my buddy Jānis. He’s all hyped about this new anticorrosion product he’s been working on. I’m like, “Dude, you know I’m the anticorrosion king, right?” We laugh, but then he tells me he’s been testing it on some old metal structures near the Daugava River. I’m like, “Bro, you better not be messing with my territory!”

Rothko Museum will display its collection in Rēzekne